Is it because I'm disabled?
I haven't been keeping up with writing this blog... but I do have my head injury to blame? Hmm... anyway, just so you know, everyday of my life is amazing, it comes with its challenges but that makes it interesting as everyday something different happens - well these past few weeks just prove my point, right where to begin... Four weeks ago now I decided to go clubbing with my brother, as this was the first time we'd been out together this year. So to begin the night at the club, we had a drink (mine was a coke lol) then my brother went to the dance floor (you know 'just stand there, looking cool) but as you can imagine, for me this isn’t as easy, I don’t mean looking cool, cos that’s natural for me, I mean the standing still bit, with a drink in my hand. Anyway back at the bar. This was even more precarious than I first anticipated, I was there trying to drink my coke, whilst the club's getting more n more packed. I was trying desperately to dodge people that were pushing past me, attempting to sip my drink with the straw, manoeuvring my tongue round the glass to find the straw in doing so (shaking involuntarily of course)... Did I mention before my brother could even pay for his round, I’d finished my drink. (I can finish my drink quick like that 😝 that just being another 'gift' of having this head injury). We then went outside to get some air, which turned out to be the smoking area. But as neither of us smoke, we walked around the area before coming to a halt (a stationary stance that all cool men do, rocking before standing still) then this girl started talking to my brother. Me, standing there... like a lemon, a cool lemon of course. The girl talking to my brother had a friend. Now this girl looked nice. Nice to me anyway….but as I was not looking for anything that night, I was being too cool for school (lol) and by being cool, I mean by saying nothing but being pleasant, whilst standing ‘cool’. She told me to come find her in the RnB dance room. So later we went back to the RnB room, where I spotted her so I said to my bro "There she is, do we go?" He said "No!" I said "Ok, tonight you're the boss..." We went and got a drink, 2 more drinks, 2 more alcoholic drinks (this time it was my round). After 2 more rounds (bearing in mind that when I've had at least two drinks, my ataxia becomes a figment of my imagination, doesn't exist anymore 😂) I attempted to look cool… Anyway my brother then took me for some air again (to the smoking area). On our way back from ‘the smoking area’ my bro gives me two options; to go home and keep to my promise to our mum & his girlfriend or to go n find this girl... Tell me, what would you do?.. Obviously we stayed - looking for this girl, we couldn't find her - literally we looked everywhere, she was nowhere to be seen. My brother had already given up by this point, and although I'm a super-nice guy, I’d like someone too. So I wasn't gonna give up... (my stubbornness does help me, sometimes lol). I went looking for her again, wow! How comes she's right there - in front of me, maybe by this point you could say I had too many drinks! I went to talk to her; she started dancing with me, then she was moving her head/lips really close to mine so I felt the moment was right, I went in for a kiss but she moved her face, so my lips landed on her cheek (AWKWARD OR WHAT!!) she was still dancing, so I decided to show her what I got! Then the killer dance moves came out! You know when you’ve had a few you KNOW you’re the best dancer ever! Well I knew anyway… yup that was me.. It obviously worked, the kissing commenced, but now remember I had a few, this mixed with the ataxia, makes kissing pretty hazardous. My head keeps shaking, as if I was saying no in a vigorous manner. Luckily this girl was persistent or maybe a bit drunk I’m not 100% sure. But she was holding my head (attempting to steady it) but what she didn't know or realise is that anything attempting to halt my ataxia makes it worse, as my ataxia fights back twice as hard so best leave it to me lol. Whilst we were kissing, I now noticed people laughing at us; I'm wasn’t sure if they were laughing at my vigorous head shaking or her trying to steady my head, but either way I didn’t care!! In mid embrace, I feel something pulling at my arm,, it was my brother. I ignored him, then I heard him say ‘let’s get our coats, we got to go’. We got our coats and left. Should I have ignored my brother? Was it cos I've no game?..
17 Comments
‘dis abledness is craziness n just not me’ that’s just one of my production titles but truthfully, this is how I’m feeling most of my days, because I did not ask to be ‘disabled’ but I have to deal with what I’ve got right! Like when I was at my mums office today, after i came back from Headway, i bought some food to eat, but eating there is always a difficult chore (because of my ataxia). Today I thought ’today I won’t let it beat me, I am not sharing my food with the floor this time’. So I took my mobile hand held blender with me. I bought Chinese with noodles, messy right! No, not once it had gone through the blender. I'd be stretching the truth if I said the floor didn't get a portion of my food, but you'd be please to know that it was a smaller than usual portion, and I'm sure the office cleaners won't be as pi**ed!
I’m not going to lie n make up a story about why I haven’t been keeping this up, although my life is super-crazy & fun, and I am trying to sort my life out and by that I mean getting my holiday video put together, I have so much to say on this but instead of boring you, I’ll let you ask the questions… |
AuthorHi I'm Lee, my mum encouraged me to write a blog about my experiences as a disabled young man and to be honest, I wasn't quite sold on the idea but thought it might help other disabled people and particularly able bodied people to see things from a different perspective. Ok, let me start at the beginning; my disability was acquired after I was involved in a hit and run accident over 10 years ago. I suffered a TBI (for those who don't know - Traumatic Brain Injury). Categories |
Proudly powered by Weebly