Is it because I'm disabled?
Ok, I’ve just come back from the cinema, saw Dr Strange, it was a really good film. I went with a support worker (SW) - did I mention that I have great support workers that hang out with me (5 days a week) and help me with everyday tasks? I may have mentioned that my voice isn't great so when we go out, we have this understanding, that they must not speak for me unless I ask them to.
What made me feel so great about the film was the fact that I went into the screen area on a high; whilst I was ordering the tickets, the sales assistant taking my order gave me her full attention, eye contact, everything, even when she heard my messed up voice she kept eye contact with me. Normally, this is the time they look to my companion for reassurance, help or just rescuing... anyway she didn't do any of that, which was brilliant, she treated me like anyone else. I was so pleased and boosted by this I wanted to continue this 'normal' situation... I bought a drink and some popcorn, my support worker usually carry these for me, as I have ataxia – which means I have a lack of coordination which causes extreme shaking. But I wanted to carry these myself, I’m not sure what caused this need or urge to carry these, but I guess I was on a high and I wanted her to see that I was still ‘cool’ or something like that. I need to tell you, I can’t carry a drink any distance, if I attempt this everyone around me gives me a very wide berth for fear of having a coke shower. I ordered- looked at the popcorn - looked at her - smiled.. looked down at the popcorn again, then I attempted to pick up the popcorn by hugging it close to my chest, wedged under my chin, I started to shake. My SW saw my predicament, swooped in, picked up the coke and took the popcorn from me; normally I would be upset with my SW, but this time I was grateful. I guess I should have realised the potential embarrassment wasn’t worth the risk. Instead, I walked in with my head held high and a smile on my face... I wonder, am I just easy to please?
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Just come back from the gym... I really hate it when my mum tells me I'm 'too friendly', But maybe she’s right!
We went to our gym which also doubles up as a spa. I got into the jacuzzi and started a conversation with a guy, in my slightly louder than normal voice. Did I mention that I have dysphasia, I looked this up and it is described as a speech disorder. How this affects me is that my voice has a nasal sound, slightly slurred but quite loud - I always forget this when speaking with strangers. Anyway I continued to have a conversation with this guy, or maybe I had a conversation at him, I’m not a 100% sure, anyway I told him about what I do in the gym and asked what he likes to do. He was quite polite and friendly, he said that he mainly skips and sometimes uses the treadmill, I asked if he ever uses the weights, he said no, I continued to prattle on for a few more minutes. When I was finished in the jacuzzi, I stood to get out, I bid him farewell but forgot to ask him his name so I asked, in a voice louder than a half-naked guy would feel comfortable being asked by another half-naked guy. Loud enough for anyone in the carpark to hear - according to my mum; she's prone to exaggeration. He looked a little nervous, but he told me his name – I can’t remember it now, as I have the short term memory of a Hamster. It only occurred to me after my mum mentioned that maybe he thought I was ‘chatting him up’. I’m not gay and I don’t think he was either but I laughed because my brother says the same thing when I talk to girls, old ladies, old men, anyone… oh well! Anyhow, I find that most people are happy to talk to me, I wonder if it’s because I'm too friendly or because I'm disabled? |
AuthorHi I'm Lee, my mum encouraged me to write a blog about my experiences as a disabled young man and to be honest, I wasn't quite sold on the idea but thought it might help other disabled people and particularly able bodied people to see things from a different perspective. Ok, let me start at the beginning; my disability was acquired after I was involved in a hit and run accident over 10 years ago. I suffered a TBI (for those who don't know - Traumatic Brain Injury). Categories |
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